When I’m Gone


I’ve been thinking a lot about what would happen to my kids if Eric and I should meet an untimely end together.  Besides Roman, I have two other children, one with special needs.  Tycen has Neurofibromatosis which has led to bone deformities, tumors, and other issues.  He sees several different doctors for his various conditions related to NF.  He already had several surgeries and has more in the future.

So, who would take care of my kids?  I have seen only one option.  I won’t name that option by name because we have never approached them about such a situation.  I suppose we should.  Who knows?  Maybe they think they couldn’t handle it.  I wouldn’t blame them.  This is not an easy life sometimes, and I’m sure that as Roman gets older, fighting for his needs to be met at school may become more difficult.  But my greatest fear is that my children will be separated from each other if anything happens to both Eric and I.  And to care for all three is quite the task.  I just hope that someone is willing to take it on.

And what if Eric is left to care for our children on his own?  How would he handle that?  I have no idea.  I’m sure that some family would step up to help for awhile and I hope that they would stick around to help on a regular basis.  But they all have their own lives, too.

I read somewhere that 80% of autistic adults still live with their parents or a caregiver.  Is this Roman’s future?  If it is, at some point, he’ll likely outlive both Eric and I.  What then?  What if he can’t live on his own?  Will his sister, or brother, become his caregiver?  Is that fair to them?

I fully intend to make sure that Roman isn’t in the greater part of that statistic.  It’s my goal to teach him to be a self sufficient adult who can live on his own.  That’s what we’re supposed to do, right?  Teach them to fly and let them go.  But what if that’s not Roman’s future?  What then?

The way I see it, there is only one option; immortality.  That’ll work, right?

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One Response to When I’m Gone

  1. Lisa says:

    ugh this has been on my mind as well lately. I’ve thought deeply about who would care for Racer when we are gone. I’ve decided to make sure that I have life insurance that will go to him but who to care for him when we are gone is still a big mystery. I know of the 7 kids that it would prolly be my youngest girls who are with him in the long run, they are his best friends right now. Scary thoughts

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