I lost my gluten free, casein free, soy free, rice free bread recipe. It’s okay because it sucked. Yeah, it sucked. Every time I made a loaf, I tried it, thinking it would get better. It didn’t. It didn’t rise and was really heavy. It tasted like baked soggy cardboard, if that’s possible. I felt bad for feeding it to Roman, although he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He loves peanut butter and jelly, and bread just serves as a medium for him to get the gooey goodness into his mouth.
It’s been awhile since I made a loaf. Roman has been living off pumpkin muffins and bananas for lunch for awhile and I really had to make some bread. I searched everywhere for my recipe and found it completely elusive. So I turned to my best friend, the internet, for a new recipe. I found one that I thought I could adjust to match the flours that I had on hand.
I mixed up the agave nectar with the water, whisked in the yeast and let it sit. I combined the flours, added the xanthan gum and salt. I whisked the eggs with the oil and apple cider vinegar. I was on a roll. That was about to end.
My beautiful professional power Kitchenaid stand mixer gleamed at me. In retrospect, I think it was smiling, smiling an evil smirk. I turned it on, but my hand slipped, turning the mixer on to a high setting and sending precious gluten free flours all over the me and the counter. I reached for the paper to wipe my face off and my elbow caught the bowl holding the eggs, oil and vinegar. On the way down to the floor, the mixture hit the cat, who screamed and ran. She hasn’t been seen since.
I guessed that about a half cup of flour had escaped from the mixer bowl, so I added a mixture of the three flours. I mixed up more eggs, oil and vinegar. The mixer was nice to me and stopped at the lowest setting this time. Finally, the kneading was done. The mixture looked a little wet, but that was okay. I was told that I should leave the dough a little sticky by another gfcf mom (who writes an awesome blog) and the bread would rise better.
I don’t think she meant as sticky as it was. I tried to pick up the dough and it oozed between my fingers, coating them in a thick goo as it ran down my wrist like thickened molasses. Back in the mixer it went with another half cup of flour. And then another half cup. At this point, I should have tossed it and started over, but my dwindling baking pride wouldn’t let me. The bread would not win!
Finally, I had something I could handle and I was able to get the now humongous ball of dough into the bowl to rise. Within a half hour, the thing, which I am not all together sure will make anything edible, was as big as my head. Soon, it will overflow the bowl I have it sitting in. Still, I’m not giving up on this bread. It IS going to taste better than my last recipe. It has to. It couldn’t be any worse.